Projects are driving me CRAZY...

gah... i'm down to the last 3 projects for the sem i so swear that they are driving me NUTS.

how do i know?

1. the minute anyone mentions 'fast, effective and soothing relief' (or any 2 of those 3 words) in a single sentence i'm reminded of my stupid tiger balm project for advertising. believe it or not, conditioned response. it ALSO reminds me that computers used for editing videos in the labs have a thing against me (particulary those at the lab at YIH). i think i'm the only person ever to encounter a million and one UNIQUE problems (apparently all the errors i 'produce' have never been encountered by any other users). how many other people possibly need SOMEONE ELSE to press the buttons for them and convert the file for fear of encountering errors if i did it myself? (i'm still in disbelief)

2. anyone who mentions interaction in relation to poking gets me thinking about BOTH my projects for NM2217. because poking as input are related to both. granted the first one's over, but the programming for the second is driving me (and possibly my lecturer) bananas. me because i can't make the program do what i want, him because i keep bugging him to help me make the program do what i want.

3. birth rates and pregnancy. never, and i mean NEVER mention anything to me vaguely hinting about birth rates and the like. because it will remind me about my NM2101 project on theories. which i was the compiler.

ARGH ARGH ARGH ARGH ARGH... this is SICK. barely a week or so left till the reading week (and the end of classes officially) and i'm STILL working on those #%%&$$#%# projects. ARGH ARGH ARGH...

stupid projects... #$&*^$#^#$@

Er... now what?

right now, i'm feeling a bit lost. i've just finished a project (meaning i'm now down to 3 from the original 6 - WOOHOO!!!). the problem now is that i don't know what to do. i've spent the last few days on the project and now... nothing. i know i should be ecstatic that i've got 1 less thing to worry about, but now it's just a matter of 'what comes next'... what DOES come next?

well there's filming on thursday... but apart from that...

Stepping up...

"When the game's on the line they'll step up". The "game" here referring to the cause. apparently i was proven wrong. They didn't. and that's why it didn't go through. and now the poor 19th has to work it out all again. props to you guys, really. there's a lot of effort put in, a lot of time spent, and to have to do it all over again is just terrible.

but like i've always said... if you need me just let me know.

Evolution of programmers....

programming. BAH. after 4 years, the nightmare is revisited (sure there was programming last year, but that wasn't so frustrating. so THAT DOESN'T COUNT).

and as any programmer should know, the worst part of writing programs is compiling. especially when you click compile and you're met with the accursed error screen. then you have to slowly scroll down the page and peer at the screen looking for the part where it all went wrong (envisions programmers everywhere screaming in agony as they recall their traumatic experiences).

so anyway, i have come up with what i would like to term the theory of (programmer) evolution. so anyway, here's the lowdown... people have often regarded programmers to be weird people, who live in their own world, speak their own language and are extremely boring. being a former programmer myself, i've learnt that programmers have to be very patient. it takes much self control not to smash the computer to bits with a sledgehammer when the compiling error screen pops up one time too many.

with that in mind, the process of natural (or unnatural) selection for programmers would kick in. i figure that all the impatient programmers would have given up the profession due to excessive frustration or in extreme cases died of high blood pressure (resulting from the same frustration). of course there would be the other ones who went insane (but maybe those had sanity issues to resolve in the first place).

so what would be left are those who are very good at what they do (since the error screen would turn up less often for them) or the very patient ones, as those programmers would continue slogging on regardless of how many times the compiling error screen popped up (of course in the worst case scenario, it would be those programmers who are dead to world, who have no sense of emotion whatsoever).

Thus the high level of patience of the surviving programmers would make so of them extremely boring people. one can't help but pity their girlfriends / wives since these guys (sorry to stereotype here but i think most programmers are guys) are infuriatingly patient and unlikely to lose their cool (especially when they're in an arguement).

so yes. i should think that most programmers have a decent level of patience and self control.

Untitled...

funny how sometimes you title an item as 'untitled' (considering that gives it a title itself, thereby making it NOT untitled)... ARGH ok i'm spouting nonsense (then again i ALWAYS spout nonsense, so go figure).

but anyway...

the last post in this blog just highlighted how terrible stuff is this sem (ok i realise things can be worse, especially if i happen to be in engine instead of arts *prepares to dodge rotten flying vegetables*)

but this is really driving me nuts. and i mean really. but then again that's what everyone else probably thinks too. but then... come to think of it previous sems i could always say i was lucky. i think this sem it's the retribution. but on the good side, i have nice project group people (which always helps). though we're a bit slow off the mark, but at least they're nice. and they get things done.

i realised that this sem seems more serious for me... not just because of becoming year 2. but even then... i miss all the times i could do my 'MSN nonsense'... cos now all there seems to be is a lot of project meetings late at night. GT's been busy so i've lost a crapping partner (and maybe even a mugging partner). and i'm trying to think of a replacement (no offence to GT). come to think of it, ever since everyone got so busy i've lost almost all my crapping partners.

just for once (or twice, or 3 times, or even more than i can imagine) i would like to let loose. to be able to know that i can do crazy things over msn and online. instead of just project meetings and blogging for homework. i just wish there were more opportunities to do this: *bang head against wall* or even this: *runs screaming and throws self out the window*... i know it's stupid, but it's ME. it's WHO I AM (recalls that a few days ago tried to throw himself in front of a bus to stop it leaving. before anyone thinks i've gone nuts - i think i pretty much am to begin with - it was only TRIED, not did. otherwise i'd probably be touch-typing this from a hospital bed. with a stick held in my mouth as a 'finger'. *attempts to dodge rotten flying vegetables being thrown by concerned friends*)

recently i've decided to add another 'action' to my 'repetoire' - *decides to go into hiding*. whether that really happens remains to be seen. but for the meantime sometimes i sympathise with the text on one of the t-shirts i almost bought a while back... "Sometimes i just wanna put on my bunny suit and SCRRREEEEEAM!!!!!" (promise to get a pic uploaded if i can find it).

Not working out at all...

some people have been noticing that i'm looking stressed / drained / tired. i don't deny that i am. just not as bad as they make it out to be.

a lot of things are happening right now. some within my control, others not. some are simple, but for the most part all are a hell of a complicated. things aren't shaping up nicely this sem. not at all... here's a brief breakdown:

1. NM2217 group project (thank God it'll be over by week 7)
2. NM2217 individual assignment
3. NM2101 project
4. NM2216 group project (of all the unlucky shit...)
5. IT1001 project
6. NM3215 project
7. THE ISSUE
8. CG issue 1
9. CG issue 2
10. THAT question
11. laptop under repairs...

ok, for reasons of sanity and privacy i'm sorry that 7-10 sound so ambigious. but that's how it is. i can't spill the beans on them because they involve others, and only those who are *somehow* involved in any particular 1 will know what i'm talking about (or at least begin to guess). but there is no one that is involved in more than one of them (surprising, no?)

anyhow, i'm trying hard to keep it together. and also trying to help the others keep it together. i don't know if that's such a good idea, but seeing as how i'm *somehow* involved in all of them (many by choice - which on hindsight might have been a bit of a mistake)...

just let me keep my sanity at the end of this sem. that's all i'm asking.

Searching for a reason...

why am i keeping it going? is the reason even a good one? Who am i kidding? does the group even want to stay together for the right reasons? i've said before, i'm not leadersthip material. and yet people think i am. and yet i can't help but wonder if i'm thinking this way because to keep it going has become too 'hard'.

Whether the group lives or dies, who has the right to make that choice? certainly not me alone. what do i know? i'm no leader.

Erm... posting at the wrong blog?

well. i know i'm supposed to be posting for my creating interactive media blog. but i'm not. so here i am instead, at one of my many other blogs (shame on me. but i don't give half a shit).

This sem so far has been... interesting, hectic (only a little) and pretty much else in between actually. sometimes it's good just to people-watch (a common pastime of mine). to just sit there and watch things happen (perhaps it's in my inherently kaypoh nature). to make my own little observations. sometimes people show more than they usually would (especially if you watch them and they don't know about it).

after the end of my first year of uni life, suddenly realise i ain't a rookie no more. can't afford to make rookie mistakes (rather not allowed to make rookie mistakes). and SWAPS? well... feeling a little lost now (only a little). feels weird that it's now 19th comm running things (no offence to them of course, i'm sure they'll do a good job). just that the comm doesn't have any familiar faces (sort of). i guess it was easier for me cos last year i knew some of them to begin with (before they joined the comm).

i can't describe the feeling i get when sitting at the table... like it's not quite right (rather not the same) anymore. like wondering where the heck all the freshies are... hardly see any of them around. and yet wonder at the same time where i'd end up going if they DID turn up there. the SWAPS table has only so much space after all... and yet other times i wonder if had i not been sitting at the table... would the table exist (let's not begin talking philosophy here)? because the swaps table is not a location but a gathering of people (as i've so often mentioned). and if there's no one to 'set up' the table, would there be one? i still remember that day when i walked past it with JF and we met some others sitting there. and one of them said she thought the table had 'died', because there wasn't anyone there.

no more publicity sub comm (for the moment). really want to get cracking at it again. i can't be a phantom member. just doesn't feel right (to me anyway). but the condition is: PUBLICITY OR NOTHING.

NUS module bidding... whicked sick...

ok i know i shouldn't be bitching about the system, seeing as i got my mods. but that's not the point. as the title mentions, this year's module bidding was WHICKED SICK... was looking at the next minimum bids for exposures, and some of them were damn shit high...

who the hell pays 182 for soci 1101?! WTF... i paid 1 point for the module lor... i'm not showing off (though it looks like it), but the fact of the matter is that this year's bunch of freshies is INSANE (barring those of my friends who took sound advice)... throw points like free.... oh well, they'll live and learn i guess. they'll learn that they need the points when they're gonna be fighting for mods against the likes of me (don't even think about showing hand hor)...

that's why i've told people before... bidding system, you curse the other bidders... balloting, you curse the system... since you're in NUS where they practice both, you basically curse and swear at everyone.

got 1 last module to bid for... and it starts monday... people want to fight with me? can... prepare to go for broke...

FOC video

yes. i have been assigned the task to create the FOC video. on one hand, i'm relishing the opportunity. on the other, there's so much expectation of it. ideas have been rolling around in my head, and a big thanks to everyone else who has given me suggestions to work with.

but (and it's a BIG but) i have 2 very major concerns:

1. have to exercise a LOT of self-control (and i really mean a lot). many of my friends know that many a time i can be extremely lame and/or corny, and that i currently listen to 3 major musical genres - R & B (rap inclusive), rock and christian music. so my song selection ability is also questionable. so a note to my co-producer lin yen: don't paiseh to tell me that i'm overdoing anything. i mean it. it's one thing to be aware of the possibility. it's another to prevent it happening.


2. that this video has to be GOOD. and i really mean GOOD. because it might just be the last one there is (if you don't understand why, read this - the July 18th entry ). that's what makes it all the more special. because it really has to be something that we can hold onto, to remember the camp by. even now i regret not going as a freshman 1 year ago. meaning that Refresh '05 would have been my one and only SWAPS camp.

well, there you have it. i'm working on the video people. and i really hope it turns out good. really. there's so much i want to put in, so much i want to add in. but that would make things messy and defeat the whole purpose.

Re-fresh 2005...

disclaimer: please excuse all banana-related phrases. it's not always intentional to pun.

Bananas. Yes, BANANAS. Orientation group with the best mascot award. my OG (3 cheers and 3 cheers and 3 cheers for BANANAS.... ). unfortunately, being a temp / floating facilitator (counsellor) at the camp just meant i had less time to hang out with the bunch of them. but they're a good group. and a committed one at that. i swear they did a superb performance for finale night.... "Ways to kill Sadako" *shakes head* you guys are classic i tell you...

so here's a shout out to all you guys:

Javen, Amelia, Yvette, Charmaine, Lin Yen, Siang Meng (you and your banana song... *shakes head*), Clement, Kitty, Jacinth, Nicole, Khid (you rock bro!), Jeanette, Chia Ling, Yi Tsun... hope i haven't left anyone out. *grin*

oh oh... and my SP 'Eve'... hope you liked the gift i gave you. the whole SP thing was fun, even if they spilled the beans on who i was (thanks to 'bimbo balls'). funny how things worked out... considering everyone thought you were my sister *shakes head cos still can't believe it*.... sorry i was a bit weird during finale night (with all the funny questions and all), but yeah... was nice getting to know you.

i'm glad i came for SWAPS FOC '05. i knew that i had missed something back in '04, and this was it. the camp that makes SWAPS what it is.

like Eugene said... we ain't the biggest (or the richest), but we're family. and that's what SWAPS has always been about. so thanks guys for making Re-fresh SWAPS FOC '05 something special.

hope to see everyone around school... whether or not we're from the same og or anything. and like i told the rest of the bananas... i'm always at the SWAPS table (if it's there)....

peace out...

return...

well for those of you who are wondering why chris has been so inactive lately, it's because i've been away. just got back a day or 2 ago. was a good trip... nice relaxing one...

chris will be flying under the radar again this week cos of SWAPS FOC... so there should be stuff to write about then... but only after about this time next week. till then you'll just have t0 watch this space...

Opportunity of a lifetime...

they say that some opportunities come around once. and that when they do we should take them. and milk them for all they're worth. recently i got one myself.

some of my friends'd know that i want to be a writer. and others would know that it's not as easy as it seems. but what every writer needs is that one chance. that one opportunity. that first step into writing.

i just got a job. a good one at that. one that'll make me a writer (and hopefully a good one). i have about a month or so. to help in the production of a book. ok fine, so maybe it's not a fiction book (something not what i'm quite comfortable with), but it's an opportunity nonetheless. an opportunity to be published. an opportunity to see my work in PRINT (even if i'm just a ghost writer).

and like all jobs, this project has a deadline. i have to finish it before school starts. hopefully i can get that target achieved. that would make it quite something. to have my name in print. to have my work published.

opportunity of a lifetime? i think so.

such is a day in the diary of chris...

In all fairness...

results are out. a bit surprising, a bit relieving, but in retrospect, i'd say i got what i pretty much deserved.

you know how people always say God if fair / just? and yet He's supposed to be really good and all? well... i guess my results are a kind of illustration of that (in my opinion anyway).

ok... i received a super blessing in the form of an 'A' (still can't quite believe it), at the same time passing (barely) a module i thought i'd fail. so i got my wish of passing all my subjects, with the A as a sort of bonus if you like. but in the end the CAP still stays the same (ok, so it went up by 0.04), which to some might be surprising considering that the A would've pulled it up considerably. but it all evens out i guess. and i've come to realise it's more or less what i deserved. and that's why God is fair. because in the end the overall result (the CAP) is what reflects my effort. not individual modules (though they make up the CAP).

so... *shrug*

Thanks God.

The ball is round...

the ball is round. one of the stupidest (and i mean stupidest) phrases ever to be heard in football. but it underlines a very important meaning which the stupid phrase doesn't quite explain - that anything (and i mean anything) can happen in a game of football. most people can pretty much guess what i'll talk about next - the topic on blogs, forums and any form of media anywhere - Champions League 2005 Final. *cue groans*

right. so i waited for a week at least in the hope that this whole load of post match analysis and 'expert' opinions on what went on and the parallels to life (and previous finals) that can be drawn from it before saying my piece. but apparently, epics such as this one aren't quite so easily forgotten.

but anyway. back to the phrase - the ball is round. pretty much explains the whole match outcome doesn't it? that anything goes in a final? that (sometimes) the formbook goes out the window? or does it?

nothing is certain. milan's "6 minutes of madness" is a testament to that. to lose from a 3-0 at halftime lead? it can only happen because the ball is round. and uncertaintity is what dreams (and underdogs) are made of. because they're not expected to be where they are. like Lyon's charge into the later stages of the tournament. hardly anyone (apart from maybe the french) expected some lesser-known FRENCH club to reach the quarters. or in the case of the Dutch, for PSV to nearly snatch an upset (over 2 legs no less) over finalists AC Milan. conventional wisdom dictates that the final 8 would include (perhaps) the English, the Italians and the Spaniards, maybe even the Germans, with one or 2 'lesser' teams as the make-weights. and who would've though that relegation strugglers Everton would make it into the Champion's League qualifying phases for next season by getting 4th in the EPL? doesn't conventional wisdom dictate that they should be fighting off going into the Championship instead of the Champions League?

so this season's champions league has been pretty interesting. kind of like the last one (where Jose Mourinho's Porto beat Monaco in the final). common perception and expectation dubbed that to be more of a UEFA cup final. because who expects the portugese to play the french in Europe's biggest club tournament final?

when you look at all this... liverpool's "back from the dead" win. the run into the knock-out phases by lesser clubs. the unpredictability (and hence excitement) of a top footballing competition, where the tables don't match the conventional wisdom. everyone looks for their own reasons and justifications. some people say it's luck. some say it's 'kelong' (read: rigged). some just say the ball is round. what do you say?

Chris' Art of Supermarket Shopping

right. so some of you might know all this already (good for you then). since this hols i have (perhaps unwittingly) volunteered myself as free labour for my mum and grandparents, i am now my mum's consistent supermarket companion, among the resident house clerk (type letters, fax stuff, photocopy stuff etc). in the words of D, "a slave for 3 months"). i don't really mind. cos it's my mum and all. just that the bit about supermarketing...

the skills listed below unfortunately are not totally guaranteed (also because i haven't quite mastered them yet). i know it may sound ridiculous to some, but the things you do when choosing fresh fruit and vegetables can be rather weird...

1. tap apples. those that are of higher pitch often are better (more ripe perhaps?). of course other things like colour and size come into play.

2. hit watermelons. higher pitch often better. apparently cos there's more 'water' in them.

3. smell honeydews (they actually give off scent). the ones that smell good (i can't explain, smell 'em yourself) are the good ones.

4. pomelos should be weighed (by hand no less) for water content. heavier = more content

that's all i can remember (till i go to the supermarket again anyway. which should be some time this week). i'll update it as i go along. i hope i haven't unleashed some craze about vandalising supermarket produce.

but get this. i HATE going to the supermarket. cos doing all that stuff makes you look like a total nut (especially if you're caught on tape). why does everyone say going to supermarket is fun? ok, interesting? maybe. embarrassing? perhaps. fun? *gives questioning look*

i do it because my mum expects me to. and even if i didn't want to i'd be dragged anyway. sure, like F said, i'm just being a good son. but all it does is cement my mama's boy rep (not that it's a totally bad thing).

but just get this. to me supermarketing is something i'm ok with (doesn't mean i like it). i do it because i have to (just like other things in life). and fun is not a word i associate with it.

Mother's Day thoughts by a Mama's boy...

haha. thanks to the good ms tan, i have been reminded that i have been neglecting this blog *bows in apology to faithful readers (if you exist in the first place)*.

righto. so it's mother's day. here're some constructive steps i took to give a super anti-climax to it.

1. wake up in the morning and DON'T wish her, and if she reminds you, just say you forgot.

2. don't answer when she asks if you got her anything (when you actually did).

3. proceed to get scolded for *apparently* not getting anything for her.

4. when you get the chance, sneak into her room and put the gift on her bed

5. under NO circumstances admit that it was you who got it (though she probably would have figured out)

guess that gives you a rough idea of how my mum's mother's day went. thanks to JF and JK for helping me pick out the flowers.

such is a day in... the diary of chris

Angry Rap...

As i stand on the corner looking out at the street,
you'd be helluva surprised who i'd think that i'd meet.
It's him that damn f***er, enemy no. 1,
i holler at the b**t**d
you better get ready to run!
i reach for my pocket and pull out a .45,
so you better run fool if you wanna stay live.

the voices in my head, them talking to me,
one tells me i should make this f*** history.
the other one says that's not how it should be,
if you do stuff like this you'll never walk free.

don't act, better think twice,
cos you're gonna regret when you pay the price. (x2)

i think to myself i can blow out his brains,
and let them damn birds just eat his remains.
better to do something and do it well...
then again we'd probably end up together in hell.

that thought strikes my mind and i'm like 'awww f***'
thinking about consequences sure as hell sucks.
i put my gun in my pocket, chase him real quick,
catch up to the b**t*rd and give his balls a good kick.

don't act, better think twice,
cos you're gonna regret when you pay the price. (x2)

don't act, better think twice,
cos some things ain't worth the sacrifice (x2)

as i walk back to the corner, to that bit of the street,
i think to myself 'man that was sweeet'.
i walk and i whistle, to "Gangsta's Paradise"
and congratulate myself i didn't take emeniem's advice*

-fin-

*note: i think emeniem's advice would've probably been to kill him. but i'm not saying Mr Mathers condones it. it's just something in his songs. i listen to rap a lot (as you can tell).

p.s. you know you've got the writing thing in you when you can wake up in the morning and this stuff just comes out.

It's DONE!!!!!

WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!! *composes himself*. yes. it. is. done. JS1101 project is FINALLY over. FINALLY. i can finally start STUDYING (can't believe i'm actually saying that but...).

there's this great sense of relief that the project is finally submitted. worked all the way up to the deadline. which is SCARY. but no choice *curses, swears and grumbles about footnoting and bilbliographies in general*. i seriously considered burning all reference materials we accumulated in the course of the project. a bonfire woul've been nice. but in the end just settled for throwing the whole lot into the bin (so it wasn't as dramatic as i liked, but that final "thunk" seemed decent closure to this whole thing).

I HAVE TO HIT THE BOOKS *tries hard to psycho self*. this sem is TERRIBLE. only because of the fact that i've been TOTALLY slacking. and the grades show it. though i have to admit the Soci grade is an exception.

so yes. i promise i shall FINALLY get down to mugging.

such is a day in... the diary of Chris

Philosophy (again)...

righto. so i've been doing philo stuff again. and now we're onto this french dude called descartes. it's really cool cos you see where the 'matrix' concept comes from - Descartes' dream theory. it's all quite fascinating... on how he tries to (dis)prove everything in the search for the 'absolute' truths which are best described in mathematical and other such formulas...

i would go into the whole thing about this argument of his 'first meditation' but that would drive some people nuts i guess....

then there's the second meditation. which questions the human existence... and essentially boils back down to the 'i think therefore i am' principle... and the whole thing just is to prove it. which Descartes does brilliantly i might add...

i'd better stop or i'll get myself in trouble *prepares to dodge rotten flying vegetables*... i figure if i did ramble on and on about it... then there'd be lots of people doing this... *runs screaming and throws himself out the window* or this... *bangs head against wall*

right. *climbs back in* so if you wanna find out what the whole thing's about... leave a comment (and an email add or something).

such is another day... in the diary of chris