I know what I am. I know that whatever i try, no matter how much i try, i will never be good enough. I will always be the techy, nerdy kid. and no matter how much i try to change it, that will always be me.

I will never be good enough for anyone, will always be on the outside looking in, and no matter what i try to do, that will not change. There will never be enough trust in me to handle myself, that i can do things on my own.

Its always assumed that i'm fine with picking up the pieces, filling in the blanks, being shunted from place to place to fill in the gaps wherever they may be. That i would be fine being the "rubbish bin", taking the scraps, all the stuff that no one else wants or decides to get rid of.

I know that from ever since i was born i was nothing but trouble - problem after problem. and while they did decrease, they were still problems. and that's how i think i'm viewed. as an annoyance, something people put up with because they have to.

---------------------------------------------------------

The time is coming. I know it is. The signs are more obvious, and i know its bound to happen eventually. and there's nothing anyone can do to change that. we will drift apart, because things will get better for you. because somehow, they always do. eventually. and that's when i fade away into the shadows, our friendship nothing more than a memory. because things change, people change. and we get on with our lives.