3 months. that's how long it always lasts. only 3 months. its scary, its sad, and it really worries me. i don't know why its always that way, but even though it starts off well and develops a closeness, somehow at some point drifting happens. and then its never the same anymore. the friendship becomes more distant, the communication less frequent, and at some point or other, it really peters out to almost nothing.

I always thought things would last. but they usually don't. and that's why i move on i suppose. because you cling to something that no longer is there any more.and no matter what i try to do, it just isn't what it used to be. i remember one friend who said she wouldn't let it happen. that when things got better for her she wouldn't forget. but she did. because things changed - they always do.

and that's why i'm scared in a way. because time is almost up. and i know what that means. I'd really like to believe that it isn't true. but so far i've always been proven correct, much as io wished it wasn't the case. "things change, people change. and we get on with our lives." i just wish it didn't have to be this way.

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i want it this time so not to be true. i really do. but i know that it'll never happen the way i want. and there's very little i can do about it. Each of them meant more to me than they probably realised. and the same goes for this time. but that's how things are and how things will be. This is deja vu. This is life that happens. and i can literally see it unfolding right in front of my eyes. again.