A post that's full of SHIT...

Well today i was thinking about something. and i realised that a very apt saying for why bad things happen is that "Shit happens." So in my boredom, i shall now illustrate all kinds of shit that happens.

Shit that you possibly step on is Dog Shit (usually). Shit that drops out of the sky and lands on you is Bird Shit (again, usually).

Depending on the extent of how you react to getting hit with bird shit or stepping in dog shit, your reaction can range from "oh. shit." (nonchalant), to "ohhhhh shittttt" (slow realisation) or just "OH SHIT!" (immediate disgust and shock).

When shit drops on you from above (not in reference to the aforementioned bird shit), and seems impossible except for the possibility of intervention of a higher power, if you see it falling and panic, that's when you shout "HOLY SHIT!". This usually happens because there's lot of shit about to land on you (i.e. its a shitload - which i honestly think should be a standard unit of measurement). When it finally lands on you, that's when you're in deep shit. And that, as they say is when the shit hits the fan (and probably lands on everyone else around as well).

Sometimes, the only way to get out of deep shit is through the use of bullshit - the art of spouting nonsensical stuff (but can also refers to shit that comes out of cows). However, excessive bullshitting at high speed often is symptomatic of verbal diahorrea. In any case, that usually happens with people who're full of shit to begin with (like me for example).

So remember. Shit happens. in many forms, shapes, sizes and smells (more often than not, its bad).

And to round off this shitty post, here's a shit joke with a moral (which perhaps isn't so shitty after all):

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It got so cold it froze up and fell to the ground in a large field. While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it. As it lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began to realize how warm it was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.

A passing cat heard the little bird singing, and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out-and then ate him.

The morals of the story are:

1. Not everyone who drops shit on you is your enemy.

2. Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.

3. When you're in deep shit, keep your mouth shut!