Friday, December 28, 2007

Glad to be going back?

As of 14th Jan, i'll be back in school after 7 months of internship. but i really wonder what things will be like when i do go back. I know that these last few months have seen many changes (even though i've tried going back to keep in touch with what's happening), and sometimes i can't help but wonder if i'd still fit in any more the way i used to.

I've had thoughts of walking away from what i've known for my past 3 years of university life, and seriously don't think i'd be missed that much when all's said and done. Maybe i should just relocate to somewhere else, hang out with different people, and not cling to what was. Perhaps if i really want to move on, i'll really have to move away from what i knew.

I'm not ruling out the fact that i may still be around, but there's a high chance i won't. but i'm not jumping to conclusions or making assumptions just yet. because when 14th of January comes round, we'll see how things pan out.

But in any case, be prepared to see less of me (i guess by now you're used to it, seeing as how i've been away for 7 months).

Sunday, December 16, 2007

More whining / ranting

I've been at this job for a good 6 months. As days go by, i'm less and less convinced i should stay in my current job after i graduate. i've already burnt 2 weekends working at some events. As mentioned in the last post, i work alone (and it sucks). and sometimes it just feels that everything is dumped on me and i'm supposed to make it work. WTF. AND there's no forseeable welfare benefits. There's really no point. I tell you if i really needed the money i'd be in deep shit thanks to this being so messed up. It was fun for a while you know, the whole gaming thing.

but if its going to be so unstable and unpredictable, well i'm sorry. its just not happening. Some people say that there's a difference between being an intern and a perm staff. Somehow i feel there isn't going to be much difference if i were to join (in my opinion anyway).

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

No such thing....

There's no such thing as a "balanced gaming life". Or work-life balance for that matter. its all BALONEY. seriously. I mean, i look at myself. I'm working almost round the clock (except for the hours when i sleep. and i bet if i didn't have to sleep i'd be working then too). I don't think i have much of a social life (or any at all for that matter). My whole life (for the last 6 months or so) has revolved around nothing but internship work (cool as it is). Case in point is me accessing the MMOG from the car while sending my bro back to camp just so i could fix some damn problem in-game. Its kinda sad, but that's how its been. And the only way that most people know that i'm alive is probably through my MSN (on which i'm on ALL THE TIME).

Coupled with the fact that i'm not the kind of person that likes to go out much (and after working in cineleisure since may, i don't think orchard is that big a deal), and you have a recipe for someone who's built for solitary confinement. It doesn't help matters that i've spent a good part of the last 6 months working alone (and i really mean alone. no one else in the office).

This kinda sucks (wait, "kinda" is an understatement. this REALLY sucks). How do you fix a problem with the following parameters?

  1. Works all day (and night)
  2. Doesn't really like to go out
  3. Doesn't see what's so fantastic about orchard / town
  4. Has little or no contact with the outside world (MSN and work-related interactions don't count)
  5. Burns weekends working for events
I'm open to suggestions. seriously. but so far it just looks like a dead-end-no-solution situation.

Sunday, November 04, 2007

Back to the future

On the work front, life is (sort of) fine. Things (as always) could be better, but i doubt they'd really get seriously much better than it is now. but anyway, i digress...

I've been getting a lot of flashbacks recently. Been doing a lot of remembering (and with me that really can happen a lot). I have to say that all this remembering and mental flashbacks isn't good for me. Because things can't be laid to rest and they keep running through my mind. Sometimes i just wish i could forget so that i wouldn't be continually tormented.

Surprisingly its the happy flashbacks that are more painful than the bad ones (i find the bad ones just plain embarrassing). The happy ones are the ones that really make me remember, and remembering (in this case) isn't good. Why can't i get this stuff out of my head? It's annoying.

it looks like even after 7 months, there hasn't been any progress. does that mean anything?

Monday, October 15, 2007

Long time no see

for the record, its been just under 2 months since i posted anything up here. mostly because i'm getting kinda lazy, and also because there's nothing interesting happening at the moment (well at least interesting enough for anyone wanting to bother).

so what's happened between the last post and this one?

1. Games Convention Asia. That was mad shit (in more than 1 sense of the word).

2. Intership (as always). Which for the info of those who don't know, will last ALL the way till Dec 31st.

3. thanks to my internship, i was a guest at a level 4000 NM module. Yes you heard me right. Its ironical cos i know quite a number of the students there from our previous modules. And so class has started, and i walk in with my boss, and the lecturer says i'm sitting in as a guest. and i'm like... riiiiight. *shrug*

and that's it really. Like i said, nothing interesting happening. Sad right? hahahaha

Friday, August 17, 2007

Updates... snowball effect of sorts

A few updates for you people:

1. went back to school to visit friends now that i'm the only one at the office
2. i'm not going up to germany after all (bummer)
3. because of point 2 i now have A LOT of work (think of hell week x 10)
4. because of point 2 i can go for welcome tea (yeah)
5. i don't think i can go for agm (another bummer)
6. because of point 2 i now am going to get into the deep end to layout a magazine even before i took NM3217 (graphics and publication design)
7. because of point 2 i have to now go out and deliver stuff for one of our campaigns
8. damn i hate point 2.

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

and Time goes on...

Well. Its been about another month since the last update. I wonder if anyone still comes around here. probably not.

Anyway, if you for some reason are one of those that pop by and wonder "is chris still keeping this blog?" the answer would be.... yes. anyway, enough of this. on to the post.

Things have been... happening to say the least (and somehow that's an understatement). If you're wondering what i've done recently:

1. Wore a suit (yes Chris and Suit are 2 words that hardly come together in the same mental image) for an international business meeting thing hosted by our office.

2. Worked for 15 hours on a saturday at the World Cyber Games Asian Championships SG for 2 movie tickets

3. Burnt another saturday working at Cyber Showdown

4. Got to the attend the Asia Interactive Awards (and give out the certs on behalf of my boss who had to go to china for last minute business stuff)

5. Used my free movie tickets on Transformers (but had to run out of the show at one point to send urgent email for work). apologies to DF for ruining the movie.

6. I should be going to Germany for a games convention (WOOHOO!)

7. Visited my friends at their graduation ceremony. Hung out, took pics and talked... and talked... and talked....

In other news, Chris' work never seems to let up. There's always stuff to be done. LOTS of stuff. but i like what i do.

Sunday, June 17, 2007

Missing In Action? and life on the "edge"

Well... it looks like the monthly updates have started again. Mostly thanks to a few reasons:

1. i've been lazy to blog
2. there's not much to blog about
3. work, work, work

but anyway... for all of those who think that the only indication of my being alive is my "online" status on msn, you're just about right actually. Ever since i've started my internship, its been nothing but work (if you want to know just how much work, imagine being involved in designing 9 games ON YOUR OWN).

While its true that i'm pretty much to blame for the fact that i've isolated myself from everyone else, i realise that once paths diverge, you no longer remain "in the loop" as they call it. It really makes you notice. When you read your friends' blogs, realise what they're up to (and wishing you could be there with them), its like... i don't know how to say it, but you just feel that something's missing. that the world is just passing you by. the worst of all of course is the fact that you never really were quite "in" that "circle" in the first place (though you thought you were).

That's a little bit of how i'm feeling now actually. because i realise that i've pretty much always been on the fringes of each of my "circles". and once paths diverge, then you really are no longer inside (or even on the edges). but even on the edges, it gets kinda lonely sometimes. *shrug* i dunno. maybe this is just being self-pitiful. but to me its really true that sometimes i feel that i'm only on the fringes of all my "circles".

Saturday, May 26, 2007

Absoutely JAW DROPPING

Well. All i can say is that i'm totally and utterly SPEECHLESS (in a good way). I've never seen results like this in my whole life. Never. Ever.

Suddenly there's a whole new option to consider. but do i dare consider it? anyway... on to the "props". Presenting Chris' honour roll for Sem 2 of AY06/07 *drumroll*

Props to:

1. The members of Inventivus Relatio Corporation (my uber-powerful NM2219 project group). I don't think I coulda gotten what I got without you guys. Still remember that first tutorial when y'all came up to me after class and asked if i wanted to join your project group. I guess all those meetings till late that got us stuck over the stupid 2nd year campaign plans paid off huh? and not to mention those online meetings that seemed to go on forever. and not to mention the fact that you guys really pulled through even when we were late. and not to mention pulled out ALL the stops for our project (to the point our tutor said it was "phenomenal"). we totally owned the rest of them. seriously. I don't think i could've possibly worked with a team that was better. cos you guys were THE BEST.

2. Team members for iPerceptum (User Experience design project). NM4210 was about User Experience. and well, working with you guys really was an experience i'll never ever forget. Thanks to the girls for picking up the slack when other stuff got in the way, for the stuff for the report, and props to my main man for his whicked sick programming skills. and not to mention the initial idea that got us rolling. you da man.

3. the crew from Snap! (Game Development Project). Honestly, when this first started out i never really knew what to expect. a game development project group of 4 with 1 and a half programmers and no 3d animation background looked like a receipe for disaster, especially with XNA screwing around with you guys. But i really gotta hand it to the programmers. They made something out of nothing. Even though the shaders never really got through, the rest of the project was absolutely fantastic. The transformation from a buggy, clumsily controlled game into the final product was just... wow. Hope you guys have fun in Boston for the MIT trip. Just wish i could be there too.

4. SmartCasing (New Product Development). I know this module wasn't graded for me, but the team behind it still mattered. Props really should go out to JF for keeping it all together. I know it was horribly stressful for you, with times where you were on the verge of breaking down. But you didn't. and i don't think the project would've been able to pull through without you. props to kai for the excellent 3D modelling work. it still leaves me in awe. And props to the girls who came in just at the right time, or we'd not have been able to pull through.
there's one other person i want to thank. someone who, just by being there for that time we had, gave me strength to pull through when the hell weeks just kept going, when the stress kept piling. even though the results have left me happy, there's still that feeling of wishing i had you around to celebrate with me. I don't mean to reopen old wounds that are trying to heal, to bring up pain that you're trying to forget, or to do this to cause any hurt, but i just want to thank you. because i don't think i could have pulled through without you there. i'm just sorry that things had to turn out the way they did.

Friday, May 11, 2007

Internship

well.... exams are over (or rather PRESENTATION is over). but WORK has just begun.

I've just gotten through (almost) the first week of my internship at SGGA - Singapore Gamers' Association. the whole thing lasts for 6 months, so i'm going to be part of the workforce till some time in december...

In case you decide to come poke around and gawk at the 4 interns (or maybe 5 by next week) who are holed up in a small office that used to be retail space, i'm at level 9 of cineleisure orchard, in that large LAN shop looking thing they call E2Max, and the office is right next to that thing they call the games academy (which looks more like a game shop than somewhere that allows you to loan out games).

Well... that's it for the moment i guess. All i can say that its going to be nothing but busy for the next few months - definitely one helluva ride.

Friday, April 27, 2007

Over... in some sense.... and not in some sense..

Well, my exam is done. [ed: wait... shouldn't you mean examS?] What's so amusing about this sem (in some sense) is that there's only 1. As someone who had finished his last of 5 exams said "wah. want to gloat also cannot."

So if my exam is over, does it mean that i'm free? well not quite. because in... 5 days from now, my 8MC project is due. There's stuff to be done (lots of stuff). and not just my area (interface design). Thus explaining the title of this post

On a somewhat related note (or not)... what i don't need now is confusion. Seriously. It really is over (in one sense), but in another sense it isn't (and please don't get the 2 mixed up. because they're different. I don't mean to send wrong signals. I'm just being me.

Thursday, April 19, 2007

The Great Escape

Internship interview in 6 hours at E2Max in cineleisure for Games Academy run by Singapore Gamers' Association. Wish me luck.

Hoping to get it, and to "negotiate" for the 6-month full time at Games Academy. Then i can get away from everything and everyone for 6 whole months (and i'll learn stuff in the process... wooohooo!)

Sunday, April 15, 2007

Pointless

There's really no point. I don't know why I even bother. Seriously.

let's just leave it at that.

Saturday, April 07, 2007

Song stuck in my head...

Hell week has finally passed. but i've got this song stuck in my head. Here's a part of it:

Perfect World - Simple plan

I never could’ve seen this far
I never could’ve seen this coming
It seems like my world’s falling apart, Yeah
Why is everything so hard
I don’t think that I can deal with the things you said Don't think i can deal with the mistakes i made
It just won’t go away

Chorus:
In a perfect world
This could never happen
In a perfect world
You’d still be here things wouldn't hurt so much
And it makes no sense
I could just pick up the pieces
But to you But it seems
This means nothing
Nothing at all

I used to think that I was strong
Until the day it all went wrong
I think I need a miracle to make it through, Yeah
I wish that I could bring you back make things right
I wish that I could turn back time
Cuz I can’t let go Its just so hard to let go
I just can’t find my way, Yeah
Without you I just can’t find my way Just seems that I can't find my way

Chorus

P.S. Please don't take this the wrong way. These are just my thoughts.

Friday, March 16, 2007

Here we go again...

Hmm... it appears that this monthly update thing is getting to be a rather regular thing for me...

so anyway... onto the update:

Life has been... busy (to say the least). and i guess the fact that having 4 concurrent projects ongoing isn't the best of things to do (especially when 1 of them is worth 2 modules worth of workload and credits). you know its bad when chris initiates a workflow timeline for each project. here's a little breakdown:

NM2219: Things are going according to schedule. Thank God for such an organised group (we even have minutes for our meetings. how cool is that?). Project looks to be in good shape after data collection. Meeting on Tues after 6... then still have to watch movie (for assignment wouldya believe) on thursday from 4-6.

NM4210: Things are kinda stable (or is it stagnant) at the moment since Reddy went down with a virus. I'm predicting work is going to pick up (especially after our meeting on sunday night at 8pm). I have this sinking feeling that i might have to do some programming *groans*

CS4343: hoho... the 2-in-1 module. Work never seems to end for this one. Just had presentation today (and its presentation and not pre-sentation according to R). And after presentation i realised i have more #$%@ to do than i can possibly imagine (which is a rather scary thought come to think about it). Apparently in trying to concentrate on the animation component, i've ignored some important stuff in my own phase of the project - the interface of the game. There's some elements i haven't quite thought about (and i need to think about soon too). *groans* Meetings and work NEVER ENDS for this module....

TR3001: S/U or no S/U, there's still work to be done for this one. and it seems like i'm going to be the one presenting (i hope the jinx doesn't strike). It seems we have something going but not sure what. and i'm beginning to think that this is another of those "why on earth did i choose this" type of mod.... but at least this time round i know the answer - its (somewhat) related to my field of interest.

Well, back to the grind... and see you next month.... hahahahaha

Friday, February 09, 2007

Resurrect...

Ok... contrary to popular assumption, this blog isn't dead yet (though its roughly been about a month since the last post). its just that i've been too lazy to do any updates. since i'm here might as well just drop a little stuff in right?

so anyway... the house is much emptier now ever since my bro left for RMIT. that effectively leaves just me, mum and my sis at home on most nights. its a little lonely when compared to what i've been used to, but i'll manage.

projects haven't been the best. there's a lot to do, and the 4343 one doesn't seem to be getting any easier when i hear about all those problems with compatibility and exporting issues. but it'll work out in the end i guess.

TR project is feeling a lot like a chore. its disgusting i tell you. somehow i regret taking the module. maybe i'll s/u it. *shrug*

other than work, life's been pretty ok i guess.

i admit this wasn't much of a post, but frankly, i don't care. after all, its just to let people know the blog isn't dead yet....

Monday, January 15, 2007

Updates, updates, updates...

well.... its been a long time since i last posted (about a month to be exact). and the major reason why nothing's been up here is because i've been too lazy to post anything. but i figured that i should get down to doing it again, just to keep this blog alive....

So anyway... this has not been a good start to the semester, mainly because only now have i FINALLY (and i do mean FINALLY) been allocated ALL my modules (i swear its cumulative retribution for 5 semesters of hassle-free module acquisition).

I won't really go into many details (because i've already explained it multiple times), but all i can say is... this whole thing has left me rather annoyed. its not really the appealing bit that annoys, but the fact that i have to pay 30 damn CORS points just to process the appeal (when i can very well get the module for just 1 point since there's only 7 other people in the class and 31 vacancies).

on another note, the modules this sem seem rather interesting. though CS4343 is definitely going to take a lot of work (8MC module i.e. twice normal workload) for a 4-person project group. its going to be CRAZY i tell you. already Cowboy X last semester 4 people do until want to die...

NM4210 looks to be related to my major interest in user interface, which is a good thing. unfortunately there's an 8-week group project (that's a BAD thing). but i guess you can't expect anything less from a 100% CA module. at least it'll be interesting right? *shrug*

TR3001 is going to be.... ARGH. i know the module is relevant for sure. but i hate coming up with ideas for products (i'm definitely not big on creativity - funny thing then that i'm in a major and concentration that is...). Its already tuesday and still i've got nothing. and class is on friday.... GAH

oh and who can forget NM2219 (taught by Mr Raj)? that's DEFINITELY going to be interesting for sure (it's Mr Raj after all), and not to mention SHORT (he promises to keep us no later than 1 hour and 15 minutes after start of lecture *grin*). oh, and i did i mention i sacrificed my free day just to get his tutorial slot? (yes i'm THAT crazy. but i figure i'll end up coming to school every day anyway).