S: "No i'm not going to let that happen!"
Yeah right. i've seen it so many times i know the routine. no more problems = no more need for chris = no need to look for chris = no need to talk to chris = drift-away friendship.
Its bullshit really. telling me that back then that it wouldn't happen. I knew it would. it was inevitable. and it did happen. and now we don't even talk to each other anymore. and it doesn't apply just to S. it applies to everyone.
there's no more need. so you forget. and i disappear from your life. happens every time. its just a matter of when. and if we do talk, the conversations are all superficial, trivial things that don't matter - its just run-of-the-mill niceties being observed. There's no real connection anymore.
Maybe that's my fault too. all my "friendships" and "relationships" were built on problems. other people's problems. and when the problems eventually disappeared from their lives, so did i. because we no longer had anything to talk about.
All people ever want from you is to make use of you. nobody comes looking for you just because. its always because there's a favour they need, a problem they need to solve, someone they need to whine to, to make themselves feel better. i'm sick of being that person. i've been that person to other people for the last 15 years. enough is enough. i'm tired. for once i'm going to think about me for a change. screw the rest of you. really.
